You’re single because you’re single. It’s not because you texted too much or too little or waited 33 minutes to respond because he took 23. It’s not because you met up with your ex that night at 5 a.m. that no one knows about, or because you kissed another boy after a date with a loser.

You’re not single because you spit food on that date or tripped coming out the the movie theatre. You’re not single because you hurt your first boyfriend really badly when you were 15 or because you have yet, to this day, to apologize. It’s not because you were secretly jealous when your friend got a boyfriend or that a guy you dated for two months now has a really cute girlfriend and looks really happy. And you’re happy for him. But still ill that he found someone before you.

You’re not single because you slept with your ex boyfriend. You’re not single because half the world found out when you didn’t even want to remember it yourself. You’re not single because you think the guy your friend wants to hook you up with is ugly or not tall enough. It’s not because you’re not willing to put up with someone who doesn’t brush their teeth on a regular basis.

You’re not single because your standards are too high. Good for you for having standards. It’s not because you didn’t like that really, really good guy who wanted to take you on a date and you just weren’t feeling it. And it’s not because you like to wear pajama pants as soon as you get home and wash all the makeup off your face. You’re not single because you didn’t learn enough from the past or would rather chill on a Friday night with your blanket and a cold beer than shower, get ready, and go out. You’re not single because something is wrong with you.

You are single because you are single. It’s really as simple as that. You haven’t made the connection with another heart yet. You can get dolled up, dress cute, cut your hair, dye your hair, tweeze your eyebrows, put on lipstick and you may still. be. single. You can go out to a bar hoping to meet the love of your life and not find a damn one in the place attractive. And it’s going to remain that way until it’s time for you to find one. Stop hoping for it. Start living the life that you do have instead of wishing for things that you don’t have. There will come a time you’ll meet a boy and you’ll have to give up some of this single freedom you currently have. Start being more thankful. Start doing that now.


I’m not gentle with this heart. 
I like to drop it from the top row of stadiums
& I like to give men baseball bats 
& see who can make it go the farthest. 

He was the first who ever hit it out of the park 
I was jumping from the pitchers mound, & screaming 

I thought that what would come next would be 
the rounding of the bases,
but he just threw down the bat 
like an emcee might with his microphone 
& walked off the field

I hadn’t prepared myself for getting used 
for glory like that.
The trophy admired for a while but eventually used as a paperweight on the shelf 
in his apartment.

I’m not easy with the hearts I’m given.
I send men home bruised & bleeding.
They say they can never live up to his legendary swing,

but I’m thinking that maybe these days 
my heart should stay in play,
maybe it’d be enough for a left fielder to snag it.

When he hit his home run, my heart went crashing
 into a parking lot windshield
& I still have the 
pieces of glass to prove it

Today at work, we were discussing the issue of racism, and it’s relevance in society today. Being of the caucasian community, one might assume that I would clam up and become immediately uncomfortable. Let me just tell you, this is not the case.  I have NO problem voicing my opinion and letting someone know how ignorant they are.  I guess that’s the red head in me. ;)

The overwhelmingly repeated statement made by my white coworkers was 
"I don’t see color"

While some may disagree, I whole heartedly believe that this is total bullshit. It’s a cop out. A way to say, I’m not racist, we are all the same. When in fact, we aren’t! Don’t get me wrong, I believe we are all human, and deserve equal treatment in EVERY situation, but to same that we are all the same is an insult. It’s down right mad. 

The fact is, i DO see color. I see the differences between races, ethnicities, and cultures. I see how different it can be to be a “Beautiful Black Woman” or a “Strong White Man” , and thats incredible to me. To say that we are all the same would be to say that there is nothing special about any of us.  The way a black woman’s hips sway when she walks, without even trying, or the way a hispanic woman immediately becomes a mothering figure to all those around her, these are only TWO of the distinct beautiful differences. There are endless more! 

I am a 23 year old white woman, and I see color… and all it’s breath-taking beauty.